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” “You should try to make it a little harder before pushing it up her; but best of luck” she said with honest sincerity. We chatted and smoked her happy stuff for a while; until I seen the front of my tent opening. That was my cue for action; so I kissed Hannah goodbye and returned to become a hero. Part of our deal was that I would return to find them in our tent and bravely put my life on the line to protect Melody. “What’s happening; Melody are you okay? I asked in my best concerned voice. A scuffle followed in which I wrestled a knife from them; before they managed to make their escape. Melody was moaning incoherently; I just hoped she had seen me fight them off. “Lydon what’s happening to me”? “Are you alright; oh why did I leave when I did? I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you”. She was lying on top of her sleeping bag completely naked. Wet patches were forming from the dripping falling from between her legs; clear evidence that Chang and Eng had achieved. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that.
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